Parenting With the Enneagram

By Jeanine Byers Hoag
Two Enneagram Books
In this article, I will review two Enneagram books by Elizabeth Wagele, the Enneagram of Parenting and the book she wrote for children, to help them better understand themselves, Finding the Birthday Cake.
Both books have helped me and my son tremendously! Both books offer helpful quizzes for parents to use to evaluate their children to see which Enneagram style they use.

And in both, the author cautions the parent that the Enneagram style may not become set in stone until they get older. While they are still young, the best thing to look at is their behavior and their tendency.

She uses a lot of cartoons in both books to illustrate each type and painting a picture of what each one is like not only makes each type seem cute and endearing, but also makes the distinctions between them clear.

"Elizabeth Wagele is a writer, cartoonist and musician who lives in Berkeley, CA, with her husband, Gus, where they raised four children and enjoy visits from their grandchildren. In 1994, HarperCollins published The Enneagram Made Easy, which is now used all over the world. She followed that with books on relationships, parenting, introverts, a children's book, and a CD on Beethoven where she plays excerpts from his piano sonatas and discusses his personality."-from Elizabeth Wagele's website

The Enneagram of Parenting

What I found helpful about this book is the way it translated each type into child language and behavior. She really did a good job of explaining how each personality type would express itself in school, at play, during mealtimes, at bedtime, and she described how they would react to stress. She also explains what they need from us as parents, and gives helpful suggestions about how to meet your child where he is, depending on his type.

Finding the Birthday Cake

Though I read this book as well, it is actually written as a story book for children, to teach the Enneagram to them in a way that makes it easy for them to understand. My son has read it several times and feels quite clearly that he and I are both fours (we are) and is clear about the others in our family, too.

In fact, he understands it so well that he enjoys guessing about people outside the family and can make a case for the type he thinks they are based on what he has observed in their behavior.