Critical Annotation - Out of the Shadows by P Carnes

By Shannon Bailey
Understanding sexual addiction takes a lot of study and time. Carnes gives a great overview and insight into what sexual addiction is all about. With this overview, counselors are able to get a better grasp on sexual addiction to either deal with clients or know how and where to refer them. Sex and sexuality are only beginning to make it out of the "taboo" of families and relationships; however, there is growing knowledge of the number of people with sexual addictions.

The question of whether there is more knowledge of addictions or more actual addictions can be argued incessantly, but the fact needs to be focused that there are a great number of sexual addicts in our public and very few counselors with the knowledge to work with these addicts. Carnes states, "The book had tapped into a deep undercurrent of sexual trauma in our culture. Many were struggling with inadequate resources" (p x).

Those addicted as well as family and friends. In 1983, the first publish of the book was called The Sexual Addiction, however, seeing that people were weary of buying and reading it, the title was changed to Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. More people bought it and many related to the book in so many ways. Since the first edition of this book in 1983, in 2001 came the second edition. This was only after Carnes received thousands of letters containing information about each one's addiction or relation to addiction. Carnes states there are more therapists who understand sexual addiction and what works with treating the addiction.

Before one can look at sexual addiction, the answer to what an addiction is has to be understood. Addiction is "the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma."

Carnes states, "A moment comes for every addict when the consequences are so great or the pain is so bad that the addict admits life is out of control because of their sexual behavior" (p 1). This moment is different with every addict. As seen on Dateline: To Catch A Predator, some people are arrested and never go after minors again, however, some are arrested and go back again.

Out of the Shadows shows how the addict's belief system spirals into impaired thinking and into a cycle out of control. The addict rationalizes the behavior thinking it is a valid rationale. This impaired thinking gives rise to not only rationalizing, but also irrational actions. Carnes states that this is a constant struggle between the person's normal self and the addicted self; a type of Jekyl and Hyde struggle emerges.

The sexual addiction can come from various reasons, such as being overweight, childhood trauma, and molestation. The worst dual-addiction is when the sexual addict is also addicted to alcohol and/or drugs. Carnes points out that many believe sexual addiction is a result of alcoholism or drug addiction; rather it is two separate addictions.

Few persons understand that sexual addiction has various levels. Some of which are culturally and socially acceptable and do not have any reason for therapy or treatment. The first level includes masturbation, which in our society is not only normal, but also essential for being a sexual person. It is when these activities become compulsive and interfere in daily living, that they become addictive. Something as simple as masturbation can grow into a need or compulsion. Masturbating several times a day or degrading himself or herself after they do it. In essence, they are creating shame from it. Also included in the first level is pornography, prostitution and anonymous sex. These can be acceptable in society, such as pornography; however, the amount of time a sexual addict spends on these is what makes them dangerous. Many of the persons within the level one category feel a sense of control over their addiction, including spans of time that they do not engage in the behaviors and then other times binge.

Level two gets more into the illegal aspects of the addiction. Level two would include exhibitionism, voyeurism, indecent phone calls, and indecent liberties. Most of society would see these as nuisance, rather than a severe crime. These acts involve the beginning of infringing on others without their consent.

Level three gets into significant boundary violations; child molestation, incest, rape, and other violent sexual crimes. This is often where addicts hit rock bottom and are forced to face long jail time and / or mandated counseling. Others including the courts, counselors and other inmates challenge their rationales on their behaviors.

Addiction is not a one-person deal. Its affect spreads everywhere and often includes several family members and friends. The co-addictive behavior is common with this addiction as well as the denial of others around the addict. Twelve-step recovery groups; which hold the addict to accountability with other members and the addict's family are definitely helpful. Unlike the alcoholic who can abstain from alcohol, the sexual addict has to figure out how to include sex into his current or future relationship(s) safely. Celibacy does not resolve the problem. Carnes continues to offer insight into dealing with sexual addiction and how to recover from it.

Reading Out of the Shadows gives a great insight into not only what addiction is, but what sexual addicts go through while dealing with their addictionThrough Carnes' story, addicts can teach others about the struggles of sexual addiction and how hard it is to recover. . The insight in the second edition of the book gives great views from addicts who tell what society does not want to hear, but needs to.